Refuges

The Crommetts had, until recently, been living on the surface of a pear. Malvina, her parents and brother were all bacterial although they had, for several days now, adopted a fungal step-brother, Dee into the family.

The pear had been thrown. They had detected that. It had landed on some hard material like concrete or steel. And then the pear had been swept up by a gaunt, shivery hand and mashed desperately towards a mouth. It had been at this time when Malvina’s father had suggested relocating to a refuge more secure.

So it was, that their new home was now nestled serenely within the grime of a fingernail. Malvina had at once begun to unpack her virus collection, of which she was very proud. Dee was much admiring, although Malvina’s mother impressed upon her the transient nature of their accommodation, which would surely elapse in its usefulness after the arrival of a nailbrush. She should, in this case, be quite prepared to pack up her collection at a moments notice.

To Malvina’s relief, and to her mother’s frustration, who regretted the proving wrong of her conscientious parenting, a week went by without the introduction of so much as a bristle.

On the contrary, their home fingernail accumulated further plaque from teeth, dust from floor, and fragments of paper off the label of a plastic bottle. All the time it would dither and tremble, at times quite alarmingly.

A dozen days went by - and then something quite unprecedented happened. Malvina’s parents argued long and hard over it, for they had neither experienced nor heard of such a thing before.

Their roof was torn off. By a pair of pliers.

So the Crommetts were required to relocate again. They downsized to a bloodied and rusted crevice of that offending tool where they remained.

And as if to compensate them for being uprooted, a couple of weeks later, they were given special protective measures; Mrs Crommett was highly appreciative. Their home pliers was lifted carefully into a clear plastic bag, from which they had a most marvellous view. And they were entreated to a great many tours of official looking buildings and neutral odours. They had a long and lovely time of it there in their crevice. But alas, at last it was time to move on again, via a cotton swab, to a surplus of gorgeous, vibrant food.